My Disorder
by raven2547
Summary: Reid has Multiple Personality Disorder, and the others don't know. Watch him try to live normally while they wonder what the hell's his problem. possible slash later. OOCness I now accept anonymous reviews!
1. Chapter 1

**ok, so i know i already have a story going, but i need ideas!!! and ive hit a wall on that one, AND this one wont leave my head... So I'm attempting to jump start this one. if you like my other one, HELP ME!!! if you don't, I hope you like this one.**

My name is Dominic Julian Reid Bradley Garwin, I know right? Long name, but Bradley is my Christian name, didn't stop my parents from putting on my birth certificate. I have MPD. That is, Multiple Personality Disorder, and mine is actually one of the more extreme cases.

I have four personalities, or five if you count Garwin. Dominic, who gets kind of violent most of the time, and he fights with Aaron a lot. Then Julian, he is kind of sappy, doesn't get to show too much; actually, I think he was the one who got out during my father's funeral... and my mother's... and Caleb's dad's. He comes out when something horrible happens to make somebody feel sad I guess.

Bradley. He's kind of my dirty little secret. Well, more of a secret than all the other's. He's the only one I'm really--only slightly-- ashamed of. He's my suicidal unit, and basically, my depressed half. He comes out when I'm all alone, and I feel really sad.

Garwin is the one that is kind of a combination of all of us, and he comes in at times like this, when I'm talking to you, but the thing is, he doesn't show any of the characteristics of any of us, he's more like a blank slate, more of a narrator. He's who's talking right now.

And last, there's what...or who, I think is actually me. Reid. The one all the other's are actually referred to, except when I go see Gorman. I think Gorman is the only one who really **knows **about my... condition. Anyway, Reid is essentially my default setting, when nobody else is needed, like when I'm with the boys and we're not fighting, or in class and I'm not upset or anything, that's who's there, that is who you would talk to about Stephen King's Dream Catcher or The Shining, that's who you would find sitting next to Tyler on a Tuesday night trying to help him study for the next chemistry test.

I wish Reid were my permanent setting, wish I only had one setting in the first place, like everyone around me, but no, I can't. It's too much to ask fate for in one breath.

I better get off of that subject or Bradley will jump in. I have to be careful when he gets in control. It wouldn't be the first time that he ended us up in a hospital in New York for instance, but that is a story for another time. And it's so hard to throw him out of the control center, he's got the strongest mental grip besides Reid or I, when I want to. When he gets in control, it's hard to throw him, that's how we almost died last year.

The thing is, it's a lot harder to get control than it is to maintain it. You see, when someone gets in the 'control room', they can strap themselves to the front of your brain and it can be like a wild dune buggie ride when you try to throw them, and I get a massive headache.

Ok, so, here's the thing: I haven't told anyone, but I think they know.

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**So what did you guys think? its just a try-out story, if i get negative reviews, then i probably will attempt to write my other story, and it will probably turn to crap. please read and review, they make me feel good :]**


	2. Chapter 2

**alright ive done a little research, and its about enough that i need for this story :) so, i think we're good in that department.**

**i got a whopper of 1 review last time lol, im hoping for more this time.**

**i have a theory about why i didnt get any reviews.... my first chapter had exactly 666 words!!! thats just so funny though, anyway, after this chapter there will be no excuse anymore so i would really, really, really love more reviews.**

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**Garwin's POV**

Alright, so I think instead of jumping right into my story, I should explain a little more clear on our state of sanity.

I/We have MPD. Multiple Personality Disorder, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, means that I lack a connection in my thoughts, feelings, memories, actions, and my identity. My personalities are also known as my alters, and when they are in control they adopt a different outlook on life, change their views, alternate between behaviors, may think they're a chick, I could actually change hands (you know right handed to left handed?).

Only I am aware of **all** of the alters. I think Julian may suspect, but he's never certain of anything except being sad. I have contact with Reid, thats always a plus; to be able to talk to the dominant personality. On average, there's about ten personalities per person, but I only have five, though there can be as many as one-hundred. All of us are aware of a lapse in time according to whenever we 'drop out' of the mind frame. It's actually not uncommon for us to have atleast one suicidal personality, that's a comfort atleast.

We started out as Reid, but as we got older, around four or five, I, the boy everyone knows (as in the actual Reid), suffered through my parents death's. To separate from the world and make believe it was happening to somebody else, our mind began to make separate worlds for itself to live in, that's usually how it happens.

So we started living with Gorman. He is my guardian and whatnot and I was still a minor, not that I'm still not, but come on, I'm seventeen, I think I can handle being in dead people's houses by myself without screaming three times in one night, it's alright if it's just once or twice I guess.

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Well now that you know the most part of my inner sanctum, I think I can explain my theory in peace of mind, no pun intended.

So we're all at the bar with the boys and their girls, 'cept Tyler and I of course, and I **think** Bradley might have gotten out; I can't be sure, but they've all been looking at me like I might break, treading on eggshells all around me. I know Dominic didn't for once, because I don't remember Aaron being there, and his trigger is seeing and/or hearing the little rat's voice, or being constantly annoyed will release him.

Julian had no reason whatsoever to be out. His trigger is usually tears, somebody's we care about anyway, and nobody cried or was mopey or down, or anything sour. I think Reid's trigger is when none of us are in control at the moment, or sometimes, if I concentrate very, very hard, I can give him control, either that's his trigger or being around his friends when they're all happy could be it. My trigger is basically everything else, like I said, I'm kinda the alpha alter, as funny as that sounds.

What I do know, is that Reid was in control, and I was... I guess you could say listening, that's the best word I can call it, but I can only listen to Reid's and Dominics because their so unguarded. Anyway, they were talking and Reid was teasing Tyler, and Tyler said something akin to, "If you don't stop I'll leave you all alone forever and ever!" which of course **has** to be a certain depressed alter's trigger.

We had had a few half dozen drinks and I think he might not have been watching his mouth as much as he should have, and either he said something about the time lapses in his memory from us, or he let something slip about suicide. Either way, it's not looking too good from our perspective.

So I'm going to see if I can get Reid in control once we get to Gorman's, since he's the easiest to deal with. That, and I like to see if he can tell which one of us it is, they all like to be called by their name, but smart enough to know that Reid is their given name. Gorman is the only one I've ever told about my disorder. He can actually point out things that make Dominic Dominic, or Julian who he is, and he can call us by our title's.

So I really love Gorman, because I can slip into whatever personality and not have a care for what happens during that time, because I can trust him, and really, thats all it takes.

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**Gorman's**

**Normal POV**

Reid Garwin walked down the cobblestone pathway of his godfather's house, wary of a gunshot, or worse, the boys. He didn't want to deal with them. Last night he had a blank out, that's what he calls his missing time, and he doesn't remember what horrible thing he said that made everyone so jumpy and fragile-treating like.

He opened up the door slowly, "Hey Gor, its me! You home?" He knew the answer before he asked, but he's always done it that way so whatever.

"You should know better by now boy, I'm always here. Every minute of everyday, everyday of the year," He grumbled out as he climbed down the ancient stairs.

Reid felt a blank out coming on, but he held it back, Gorman usually only called him boy whenever he hadn't talked to him that day, or he hadn't seen him since he entered the house, and he was curious.

"What could you possibly want to bother an old man with? Just like your father, always barging into my house without knocking and not pronouncing the full, glorious name bestowed upon me by my ancestors. I should tie you to a fence post, that's what I should do, yes I think I'll do that next time I want to do something to get a laugh..."

"Are you done?" Blondie was done laughing by now, although it was quite funny when Gorman ranted as he came down his stairs.

"Yes, now what do you want?" He was business as always with Reid, he could never understand why the frail old man didn't just wear a suit all the time.

He couldn't hold off the blank out any longer...

"Reid?" Gorman asked softly, not wanting to startle the oncoming alter, Dominic sometimes shouted if he was scared, and his old ears couldn't take it today, what with all the racket the other boys had already caused not a few hours ago.

"Sorry Gorman, I needed to speak with you, and just put him in charge until we got away from school." Garwin was out, the elder idly wondered if he was going to tell him what he already knew, chances were, he didn't know what Gorman knew about Bradley.

"Garwin, yes what would you like to talk about?"

"...Have the boys already been by today?" he recieved a nod of confirmation before he cursed, it wasn't his day apparently, "Do you know what Bradley said exactly?"

"Yes, he said 'I'm already all alone Ty, I wish I could make it all go away, but something always stops me' and they all panicked."

"Well shit. That's not so bad, not as bad as last time he got by us all," He gave a nervous chuckle.

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**Well, tell me what you guys think, I think this turned out pretty well, considering it took me a lot longer to update Dissappearance with a Disturbance to the second chapter Please please please Review!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So im forcing myself to write this, a reviewer caught my eye and I feel the need to write this for her—she actually made me update another one of my stories too .**

**So I actually don't have a muse for this chapter, and I'm going off bare minimum memory of writing it. Here goes nothing anyway :D**

**Enjoy  
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**Gorman's **

**Normal POV**

"What are you going to do?" the old man asked, curious and worried about the boys.

"Try to cover my ass and hope it doesn't blow up in my face. That's all I really can do, man," Garwin sighed and put his hands in his hair, blowing out a tired sigh.

He was going to need a rather large shovel to dig himself and the others out of the hole Bradley had thrown them in. The boys really didn't need to know about his condition- it would make them treat him so weird, like glass or like a mental patient.

No… he had to make sure they didn't find out. But how? They didn't even know about the disorder and they were already panicking, and he lied like shit. He knew it, they knew it—especially Caleb. Caleb saw through him like he was thinner than paper.

Yes, this would take careful planning and a fierce spinning of the tangled web of deception.

"How do you plan to do that?" Gorman asked, setting a heavy hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"I have no idea. Would you like to help me?" Garwin smiled at the old man and sat down on his even older couch.

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**Caleb's Room**

**Normal POV**

"Obviously something's wrong with Reid, we can't just sit here and wait for him to tell us. You guys know he never will," Tyler said, clearly worried for his best friend.

"We also know that if we dig with him and push then he'll never tell us and most likely lie- very poorly- to cover up something that we will inevitably find out about," Caleb replied, not thrilled with any kind of solution they'd spun together so far.

"…What if we just beat it out of him?" Pogue interjected, his simple solution oh-so-tempting to both boys.

"We can't do that, he'd probably not talk to us and then how would we help him?"

"He's suicidal Pogue! That is _not _helping!He needs to know we're here for him at anytime!" the youngest wasn't a child, but tended to believe as one when desperate.

Pogue thought for a moment longer, "How about we just hold him down and find out via telepathy?"

That was also a tempting thought, but that may very well be an even bigger betrayal than just beating it out of him.

"I guess we could do it while he's asleep…he and Ty do share a room at school…" Caleb trailed off, not liking the idea, but not seeing any other way around it.

Tyler looked torn between wanting to protect Reid from the violation of telepathy and protecting him from himself.

"I'll help."

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'Reid' jogged up the front steps to Caleb's house, not knocking and just entering, knowing it was ok. He waved to Evelyn in the living room and jumped up the stairs, making as noise as possible. At Caleb's door he did knock, but only once and didn't wait for a response as he strode into the room in all his Garwin arrogance.

"Hello boys," he said unnecessarily. He had a story prepared and rehearsed on the way there. He was drunk off his ass, and didn't know what he was saying, and could Tyler repeat the conversation so he could formulate a more appropriate response?

They looked at him warily, almost afraid it looked like.

"Hey Reid," they chorused, and Caleb continued, "Where'd you disappear to the other night?"

"Oh you know, out and about, stopped by home, got some clothes, went to Gorman's. The usual," he left out the part about panicking and waking up in his closet at home, they already looked like they didn't believe him.

"So how'd you end up over here?"

"I was trolling down the street and thought 'oh Caleb lives here and I should harass him'. What do you think? I came over cause I knew all of you'd be over here. I don't exactly have too many friends outside of you three," oops. Wrong thing to say, Garwin. They looked at each other worriedly and Tyler stepped towards him, resting a hand on his upper arm.

"You know we're always here right Reid? You can tell us anything, ok?" Poor guy looked worried as hell, almost sick—all of them did. 'Well that's kind of sweet' Reid thought. But what he said was, "Yeah, I got nothing to hide Ty. Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Suddenly Pogue yelled out, "I got him! Plan A guys!" and the others were yelling, "No!" and, "Stop Pogue!" but you can't stop a Perry on a mission, and he had Reid in a headlock before they could grab him.

"Get him now! I got him just where we want him!"

"Get the hell off me you asshole!"

"Pogue that is uncalled for!"

"We were going with plan B!"

The resulting struggle ended in 4 exhausted boys, after an appearance of Dominic in which everyone but Reid was knocked to the ground, and then he was sorry so Julian came to visit, and finally Reid was back when he got knocked to the ground by an angry foot of mysterious origins from the pile of limbs.

"So why was I just attacked?" the irate blonde huffed as he tried to catch his breath, but his eyes laughed lightly at them.

"Pogue's an idiot, that's why," Caleb glared at the said biker, sidestepping the question with ease.

"My head hurts. Caleb, you need a softer floor," Tyler complained from the bottom of the dog pile.

They spent the better part of an hour arguing over what kind of upholstery would best suit Caleb's room, and what kind of very soft and mushy carpet would go with it. Then they had to untangle themselves from the scrambled mess they'd made of said room, complete with random clothes' hangers, clothes that belonged on the hangers, a curtain rod, a curtain, and a few cords of questionable nature.

Reid hopped on the bed when he was free, lounging back on the pillows. Caleb sat next to him against the wall, Pogue and Tyler finding places either on the floor or in the desk chair.

"Now. Why was I attacked?" Reid questioned again, and Caleb cursed internally- he'd thought Reid might've forgotten.

"We want to know what's wrong with you, man," Pogue said, and Caleb almost face-palmed in annoyance.

"Nothing's wrong," the blonde's eyes skittered around before going back to Pogue's, a sure sign he was lying.

"Come on man, you suck at lying, why even try with us?"

"Obviously I don't want to tell you."

"Well you're gonna."

"Oh I will _not_."

"Yes you _will_."

"Not."

"Will."

"Not."

"Will."

"Okay, shut the hell up. It's getting dark, everyone's staying here tonight, alright? What movie do we want to watch?" Caleb interrupted the sure-to-be-over-three-hours-long-back-and-forth arguing match.

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**Ok, is everyone satiated? Please give me reviews, I really struggled to shove this out my brain.**

**I wrote this in 2 hours, from 1 AM to 3 AM so :P**

**Au revoir !**


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